I write this from a friends house sitting on a cough in-between to chicks too drunk to say anything that makes sense, in a house full of drunk people, my friends house. Mean muffin my friend is the supposed ex of the girl my buddy is trying to get with. My friend is kissing on this girl and touching her just to piss this dude off and it is working. I told him I had his back if ex was going to start shit, but i also told him not to start whatever were to happen. And yet here he is starting shut, fucking with this guy, who can and will fuck my friend up. Now I have a choice when this goes down, sit back do nothing or Jump in and try to defuse it wich is the least likely. I think to teach my friend a lesson i will let him get beat on a bit, then jump in and handle the ex, hopefully calm him down and get him out. That also probably won't go as planned. This will happen the ex is ready to go and the only uncertain thing is how fucked is this suppose to get....well I'm going to sit back, finish this beer and observe. Curious how people get when certain someone will bail them out ...not tonight my friend your flying solo and will get busted up a bit before I help. I hope she is worth it. One love.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Teaching in Juvenile Hall
Since i started working with the rape crisis center my goal was to get into juvenile hall and interact and teach the kids there and i have had the opportunity to do just that. It is an amazing experience that can be difficult at times but well worth it especially when you know they have learned something from me.
Going in and teaching the boys especially about sexual violence is a real task, because right off the bat they don't like you. They look at you as if your just another person paid to go in and teach them some bullshit they don't care about. They think your judging them negatively because they are in juvi and that your in there to teach them about sexual violence because you think they are rapists or going to be rapists. They feel that they are being attacked for being males. All these things make it difficult, some of the kids really don't give a shit about anything you have to say, but that's no different in juvi then it would be in the "normal" school we teach in.
When i go into to juvi , i let them know I'm not there to lecture them, talk at them, tell them what to do and how to live there lives. I'm there simply to talk to them about the issues of sexual violence to teach them about consent, what it is and what it is not, so they have this knowledge and use it so they can keep themselves out of any unnecessary trouble. Its a task in itself to keep them focused and get out everything i need to say to them, everything i feel they need to know, out and clarified so they understand I'm not telling them what to do because once they think that they go on the defensive an d you lose them. When you lose them its very hard to get them back because they no longer trust you and you have to earn their trust in their eyes.
I'm trying to develop a curriculum for the boys in juvi because i want them to stay engaged in what i have to say, to participate and not be afraid to speak there mind and feel like I'm going to judge them for their beliefs or their thoughts. I don't want them to feel attack and think we are calling them all abusers and rape is their fault because they have penises. I mean yes men are the majority perpetrators in sexual violence but it doe not mean every man is a rapist or sexual offender, i have to figure out a way to make them not feel attacked Its a difficult task that i will complete because they need it. They have different mindsets they have seen and done things my normal high school kids couldn't even imagine. They are runaways, drug dealers, and gang members, but to me they are just some dudes that fucked up and are in juvi because they made the wrong choice (side note: is it really the wrong choice if you make it?) . I cant judge these kids because i was just like them at their age. so i get it for the most part.
In juvenile hall its quite a trip especially when you know they are feeling the lesson and want to be involved and have relevant things to say about the subject. When that happens i feel I've done my job. Its stressful and emotionally draining because if you don't put your all into it and really want to be there they will sense that and eat you alive, hell they try and do that anyways especially if you lose their interest in the subject. I enjoy talking with them and trying to teach them something even if there are those in the classes that dont care.
Going in and teaching the boys especially about sexual violence is a real task, because right off the bat they don't like you. They look at you as if your just another person paid to go in and teach them some bullshit they don't care about. They think your judging them negatively because they are in juvi and that your in there to teach them about sexual violence because you think they are rapists or going to be rapists. They feel that they are being attacked for being males. All these things make it difficult, some of the kids really don't give a shit about anything you have to say, but that's no different in juvi then it would be in the "normal" school we teach in.
When i go into to juvi , i let them know I'm not there to lecture them, talk at them, tell them what to do and how to live there lives. I'm there simply to talk to them about the issues of sexual violence to teach them about consent, what it is and what it is not, so they have this knowledge and use it so they can keep themselves out of any unnecessary trouble. Its a task in itself to keep them focused and get out everything i need to say to them, everything i feel they need to know, out and clarified so they understand I'm not telling them what to do because once they think that they go on the defensive an d you lose them. When you lose them its very hard to get them back because they no longer trust you and you have to earn their trust in their eyes.
I'm trying to develop a curriculum for the boys in juvi because i want them to stay engaged in what i have to say, to participate and not be afraid to speak there mind and feel like I'm going to judge them for their beliefs or their thoughts. I don't want them to feel attack and think we are calling them all abusers and rape is their fault because they have penises. I mean yes men are the majority perpetrators in sexual violence but it doe not mean every man is a rapist or sexual offender, i have to figure out a way to make them not feel attacked Its a difficult task that i will complete because they need it. They have different mindsets they have seen and done things my normal high school kids couldn't even imagine. They are runaways, drug dealers, and gang members, but to me they are just some dudes that fucked up and are in juvi because they made the wrong choice (side note: is it really the wrong choice if you make it?) . I cant judge these kids because i was just like them at their age. so i get it for the most part.
In juvenile hall its quite a trip especially when you know they are feeling the lesson and want to be involved and have relevant things to say about the subject. When that happens i feel I've done my job. Its stressful and emotionally draining because if you don't put your all into it and really want to be there they will sense that and eat you alive, hell they try and do that anyways especially if you lose their interest in the subject. I enjoy talking with them and trying to teach them something even if there are those in the classes that dont care.
changes
I work two jobs pretty close to all day and most of the night and i still manage to have some sort of a social life. How do i pull this off might you ask? Im not sure myself but as im sitting here on the graveyard shift, vision blurred, eyes heavy, feeling like shit. I can tell you however i manage to do it...its worth it.
i bust my ass all day and go and party all night, I rarely sleep, im an insomniac by choice, i have my issues with having down time, being alone, missing out , but i get by and do what i feel i need to do. i will continue doing it till it becomes too much and even then ill push is a bit farther because i know i can. i havent always been like this over the past 3 months my life has changed drastically, i went from a long term relationship to a woman i love more than anything to single over night, i lost friends that ment alot to me and one that was a sister to me. I went from being a volunteer prevention educator to a paid prevention education specialist at my counties only rape crisis center. With that i went from working one full time job to working a full time job and a part time job, one i work during the day and the other i work in the evening through most of the night. Its tough it really is, but i have to keep doing it.
My job as a prevention educator is tough, i go in and talk to kids about sexual violence (rape,incest,sexual hrassment, sexual battery, molestation, etc) and consent. There are definately days where its cake, go in and talk to the kids about all that and get out and be done. Then there are those days where its rough and it takes alot out of you emotionally, those days i have to remind myself im doing something good no matter how hard it gets i cannot quit. I know i may not change the world with what i do but i know i may change someones life in a positive way and thats all that matters. I dont do it for praise. I dont do it for people to apreciate me. I do it because not alot of other people will, especially men. Dont thank me just listen take it in and use what i have to say to help yourself or someone else. My job as a hotel clerk...i wont get into that because there is not much to talk about, i check people in/out make reservations and make sure guests are happy, end game.
Within the past 7 months i have met and obtained a whole plethora of new friends and have met some of the most diverse and amazing people ever. they have changed my view on life they have helped me, wether they know it or not, through a very awkard and rough part of my life. Mainly the women i have met have been most influencial. i feel i lost my sister a few months ago and gained 3 great friends that took her place. without them i dont think i would be able to continue pushing and going on the way i do. These women are the loves of my life, this includes my best friend (ex girlfriend) who has always been there for me and even though we have sort of lost touch and rarely speak to each i still love her and always will. All these woman i owe the world to and they deserve every last piece of it, they are amazing at what they do and how they go about it, each unique each loving in their own way and all of them care for me unconditionally, what else could anyone ask for?
My life,everyones life, is always in a constant change we as humans are always growing always changing our ideals beleifs and actions, our careers, lovers, clothes, hair, whatever and thats ok it about growing up,even as an adult you still have infinite amount of growing up to do till the day you die, and then all that matters at the point are the memories you leave behind to those that love you. so keep them positive have people remember you as a good person or doing something good in your life at some point. thats what i strive for, i do everything i do so when im dead my memory will outlive my physical being.
p.s. I apologize if this is scattered and confusing sleep deprevity can do that to a fella.
i bust my ass all day and go and party all night, I rarely sleep, im an insomniac by choice, i have my issues with having down time, being alone, missing out , but i get by and do what i feel i need to do. i will continue doing it till it becomes too much and even then ill push is a bit farther because i know i can. i havent always been like this over the past 3 months my life has changed drastically, i went from a long term relationship to a woman i love more than anything to single over night, i lost friends that ment alot to me and one that was a sister to me. I went from being a volunteer prevention educator to a paid prevention education specialist at my counties only rape crisis center. With that i went from working one full time job to working a full time job and a part time job, one i work during the day and the other i work in the evening through most of the night. Its tough it really is, but i have to keep doing it.
My job as a prevention educator is tough, i go in and talk to kids about sexual violence (rape,incest,sexual hrassment, sexual battery, molestation, etc) and consent. There are definately days where its cake, go in and talk to the kids about all that and get out and be done. Then there are those days where its rough and it takes alot out of you emotionally, those days i have to remind myself im doing something good no matter how hard it gets i cannot quit. I know i may not change the world with what i do but i know i may change someones life in a positive way and thats all that matters. I dont do it for praise. I dont do it for people to apreciate me. I do it because not alot of other people will, especially men. Dont thank me just listen take it in and use what i have to say to help yourself or someone else. My job as a hotel clerk...i wont get into that because there is not much to talk about, i check people in/out make reservations and make sure guests are happy, end game.
Within the past 7 months i have met and obtained a whole plethora of new friends and have met some of the most diverse and amazing people ever. they have changed my view on life they have helped me, wether they know it or not, through a very awkard and rough part of my life. Mainly the women i have met have been most influencial. i feel i lost my sister a few months ago and gained 3 great friends that took her place. without them i dont think i would be able to continue pushing and going on the way i do. These women are the loves of my life, this includes my best friend (ex girlfriend) who has always been there for me and even though we have sort of lost touch and rarely speak to each i still love her and always will. All these woman i owe the world to and they deserve every last piece of it, they are amazing at what they do and how they go about it, each unique each loving in their own way and all of them care for me unconditionally, what else could anyone ask for?
My life,everyones life, is always in a constant change we as humans are always growing always changing our ideals beleifs and actions, our careers, lovers, clothes, hair, whatever and thats ok it about growing up,even as an adult you still have infinite amount of growing up to do till the day you die, and then all that matters at the point are the memories you leave behind to those that love you. so keep them positive have people remember you as a good person or doing something good in your life at some point. thats what i strive for, i do everything i do so when im dead my memory will outlive my physical being.
p.s. I apologize if this is scattered and confusing sleep deprevity can do that to a fella.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)